Last weekend, when the parents announced we were heading down to Bordeaux for a special youth service, my first reaction wasn’t a very enthusiastic one. Not because I don’t like going to Bordeaux, or the people there scare me, but rather because the introverted, mole side of me cringed at the thought of emerging from my little mole-hole.
Unlike back home, the youth service took place Saturday evening. The family and I arrived early, so we decided to kill some time by walking around downtown and ordering a Starbucks. (Yay, another Starbucks three hours away!) *fist pumps*
A group of young people from the church went out evangelizing earlier that afternoon, which resulted in a couple newcomers to that evening’s service. The invited guest speaker was Samuel Sheikadam, the national youth president of France, who came with his wife Lisa. It was a great service! I was amazed by the fervency of the youth. At the altar call, I was emotional. I could feel God’s spirit reaching the deep parts of me that I prefer to keep hidden: the insecurities, fears, all the feelings that I hide from the world. All those things that others can’t see, but that God can… yeah. It can be scary to know He sees everything, but it can also be comforting.
After the service, the youth headed to Stake n’ Shake for some good ‘Merican food and fellowship. I have to tell you… I needed some youth fellowship. The feeling of laughing till the muscles in my cheeks hurt, and being surrounded by Godly, fun young people was so refreshing.
While the rest of my family shared their little hotel room, I stayed the night with the pastor’s daughter and amused myself by killing gigantic spiders at 11:30 p.m. Safe to say I was her hero 😉 What really made my night was staying up till the early hours talking with said pastor’s daughter. For me it was like old times, only with new people.
Sunday morning rolled around quickly, and what another great service! Two people were baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, and had their sins washed away; one having received the Holy Ghost just the day before! Praise God for bringing two more beautiful souls into his kingdom!
It’s silly, but I felt incredibly nervous about that little trip. I was not at my best mentally, and was certainly not feeling like showing my face to the world. Before leaving, I asked God for confidence, and it’s a prayer I continually pray. I’m praying for what I lack. Do you want to know something? On the drive back home, I realized that God answered my prayer, He DID give me confidence. He gave me enough so that I wouldn’t close in on myself. I’m so glad for a prayer-answering God who cares for me!
Let me give a moral to this blog post. Sometimes we worry about the silliest little things. We waste away worrying, and in the end, the thing we end up worrying about turns out to be just what we needed. That’s exactly what happened to me last weekend.
We may not always know the why’s, but God does, and He knows what we need. Sometimes, He has to drag us out of our mole-holes to give it to us, and even though we may do it kicking and screaming… (worrying), when we see why God did it, we see how silly we were not to have trusted Him.
Between us, I’m still learning. It’s not always easy, but like this weekend taught me… it’s worth it.
You’re awesome. (I loled at the “mole”.) Confidence will come (or so they tell me…) Every time I go to Starbucks, I think of your family. The closest one is 1 1/2 hrs away… I feel the pain.
Keep writing and letting the Good Lord use your and all your introverted glory.